On The Occasion Of My Daughter's Wedding

Friends who could not be at this occasion have wondered what I said when my turn came in the speech-making. Good or bad, fair or foul, this was it.

Time & Date delivered: 1400, Saturday 5th May 2018
Location: Culcreuch Castle Hotel, Fintry, Scotland.
Bride & Groom: Kirsten Tipping & Martin Boyle.

I’m told that it’s a custom for the father of the bride

To give a speech; so here’s a guide

That in a brief poetic time

Gives one man’s thoughts – but then I’m

In the job of Dad to four

So why not listen then if you’re

Perhaps to face this daunting task

With girl unwed and yet to ask.

Or maybe you’re just feeling merry

From liquid gold of grape or berry.

Whatever – pin those lugholes back

A wisp of fun these words won’t lack.

So we are here because one day

Two parents met and later – hey!

Out popped a babe, it was a girl

In truth some years but what a whirl.

This girl is sister; two brothers first

From earlier years they both had burst

Upon the scene, so shocked were they

To find a sister on their lap lay.

So Kirsten came and what a joy

Then second came, again no boy.

But Kirsten loved her sibling new

And they still speak with love so Phew!

In fact so full of love was K

For this new babe she shopped away

And found a lovely fluffy thing

She gave to Sis the toy she’d bring.

But there is sting since father may

Throw out this toy in careless way.

This fluffy joy was yellow duck;

My horror thought “Oh, what the - flipping heck”.

But let’s go back to age of two

When Kirsten was so sweet and new.

Adults have matters that are fine

To undertake but cross the line ...

For children to completely do

Like clean and tidy just as new.

So when a carpet gets a sprinkle

From little girls who do a tinkle;

Parents with a deftest touch

Clean up quickly and, as much

As little girls can be like mother

Cleaning carpets is just no bother.

So seeing mother using water

To dilute sprinkles as she aught-er;

Kirsten, when upstairs a-playing

Wet her carpet, she thought laying

Water over said occasion

Would be perfect, no persuasion.

This was fine until the flow

Came through the ceiling down below.

Up dashed the parents moving fast

And found the bedroom more than splashed.

So out the window carpet goes

And in the garden water flows;

But father says to mother “Dear -

That carpet old is gone, no fear;

So we’ll get new and what we choose

That’s good job done, we win, not lose”.

Now on we move through early years

Through happy laughs and sometimes tears

To early school with play and books;

A pretty child with angel looks.

A caring careful child was she;

No tomboy this as we could see;

Her sister did that role embrace

With laughing smile in mucky face.

Example speaks of many a word.

A velvet dress – that’s right, you heard

On little girl a crazy choice

But Kirsten’s skill did give a voice ...

To mother who believed in her;

At party time this dress like fur

Did go out clean and then return

Without a mark or singe or burn.

So careful was this girl of ours

She played like child for hours and hours;

But miracles - she still had fun

But kept that dress from cake and bun.

She came home happy and the dress

So unmarked did she so impress;

This care and thought, she has it still;

And pass it on? Perhaps she will.

Returning to my little tale

Of Kirsten’s life, I never fail

To be as proud of little things

As bigger stuff that her life brings.

It is a fact that I quite like

That I came late to ride a bike

So helping children learn to ride

Is something that I view with pride.

It is a truth though for us all

That life can have a sudden fall;

So when a bike she came to try

She wasn’t quick to cycle by.

Some of you know we love to camp -

I mean holiday, dry or damp;

Not how I walk though sometimes run;

It’s canvas past, by van now done.

It was while camping with our friends;

The weather sun and rain it sends

Where Kirsten learned to ride a bike;

A picture in my head I like

To fondly wind through memory’s eye

As down a rutted path she’d fly

With only wheels at front and rear

No extra wheels to help her fear.

The freedom she had longed to find

Was now all hers with fear behind;

She’d now been launched for good and all

To feel the speed her soul enthral.

Then as first decade on this earth

Came past as memory of her birth;

Her parents, tired of several things

Sold house and moved where Burns’ Night brings

Grown adults speaking ancient rhyme

Addressing puddings like the time

When folk believed in faeries’ spells

And whisky came to sound of - Bells.

And so we came to Scottish land

In fact, to Crieff, though part unplanned;

My elder son was here, no less

And I one word to him address.

Back at the time when Kirsten still

Was unborn lump and like small hill;

My son suggested second name

For sister new – and so it came

That Kirsten has two Celtic words

To give her reference amongst the hordes.

The first a name that Scots do use;

The second, Welsh, for her to choose

Which branch of Celtic she prefers.

I think I know but choice is hers.

But Kirsten, Rhiannon do unfurl

Both lovely names for lovely girl.

Back then I go to early days

When Joka also with her plays;

This is no card trick, Joka barks

And adds to Rusty’s silly larks.

These were two Cavalier hounds

By name not nature - but then found

Each with their girl, they soon are sat

Prefer to lie and just get fat.

But we are mindful and the two

Get walks and runs - and not a few.

And Joka’s sweet, a little dim

But we all still remember him.

With hole in heart, this little mutt

Should linger less – and there’s a ‘but’

Amazing vets and all who hears

He carries on for fifteen years.

So here we are in Scotland’s heart

And education played its part

In making Kirsten what she is;

The ups and downs, the falls and fizz.

So after time in local school

To further place where nuns once rule.

Her father, unconvinced on God,

Reluctant, gives her choice the nod.

But Kirsten, with her spirits free

Sails through subjects one, two, three.

Gets perfect end as Standards come,

Then Higher and Higher advances some.

She heads for Law and Glasgow’s Green

Since in that place her future’s seen.

She studies well and is well read

Then Lawyer not, but then it’s said

That Lawyers are a shifty bunch

So try elsewhere and face the crunch

Of being happy first and then

Perhaps less dosh but better ken

That happy is a better place

Than being in a ruthless race

To get ahead at any cost;

Relax, slow down, love the most.

And this new way has brought us here

Because the man she now holds dear (and her husband)

Was met in selling food, cooked fine;

Her boss, no less, with skill in wine.

So now this speech is near its end

And down the road to love we wend.

The two folk here are now to go

Through thick and thin as one and so

I wish them all the best there is

And know they answer to the quiz

That they aren’t perfect, either one,

But love the other when’s said and done.

When times get tough and there’s a strain,

Remember sunshine follows rain.

You both have folk who love you well

So take it easy and don’t dwell

On life’s reverses and its pain;

Love is all and lets you gain

The lift that fixes problems when

You need it most, right there and then.

So that’s all folks, just let me say

That it’s a lie to “give away”

One’s daughter on the day she’s wed;

It costs a bomb, so that’s that said.